


Big Furphy

by CornOnTheCorn



Series: General Poltergeist PSAs [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Ghosts, Minor Violence, Poltergeists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28602882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CornOnTheCorn/pseuds/CornOnTheCorn
Summary: The following is a collection of information on Australia based poltergeist “Big Furphy”. As some readers may know, Big Furphy has been a topic of much controversy in lieu of the recently released eponymous film. There is much dispute occurring in regards to the film’s accuracy, purpose, tastefulness, and other qualities. Due to this, Geist Inc felt it necessary to publish an official summation of confirmed information on Big Furphy (who is currently categorized under “Moderately Harmful”) for the sake of properly informed conversation. The information will be provided in the usual format, expecting someone reading to have no prior knowledge of the poltergeist.
Series: General Poltergeist PSAs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855690
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Big Furphy

**Appearance:**

Big Furphy is decidedly human in appearance. The only immediately recognizable otherworldly trait is that of his foggy eyes that seem to be constantly engulfed in a small, white flame. He stands at about 195 centimeters (6 feet, 4 inches). Regardless of weather, Big Furphy always presents himself wearing a pin-striped three piece suit, and open toed sandals. He is always very spruce, and has shown the ability to resist any outside stimulus from affecting that (i.e. things such as rain or sandy wind pass right through him, even though Big Furphy has demonstrated a tangible form regularly). He is of average weight and slightly above average muscle mass. Lastly, he is always seen wearing a pendant in the shape of a leaping Tarpon. Spectreologists haven’t yet agreed on the potential meaning behind this symbol. 

**Approach:**

Big Furphy is a non-domestic situational poltergeist(1) that haunts group camp settings in various parts of Australia. The only requirements that appear necessary for Big Furphy to appear is that there be at least 3 campers present, and that they are currently situated around a central heating source (fire pit, grill, etc). No other trends have been confirmed. When the camping group is convening, Big Furphy’s presence is signaled by a sudden, great increase in the fire at the center of the area. If the central object produces heat through convection or some other non-fire related means, it will catch on fire but remain unburnt. This, coupled with zero cases where a camper has been burnt by Furphy’s flames, leads spectreologists to believe Furphy himself creates this illusion to provide himself a form of dramatic entrance. The entrance in question occurs very soon after. The fire will quickly die down and Furphy will now be present in the campsite. Leaning on the group’s vehicle, walking up to the fire, or fiddling with a radio among other casual placements. 

**Haunting Process:**

Once Big Furphy has arrived, he will casually take a seat amongst the present campers. He typically offers a minimalist greeting such as “Evenin”, and produces a broken, worn out compass that he places on the ground in front of himself. After making eye contact with everyone, he says only the phrase “Who’s up to get the skeevies?” and flicks the needle of the compass, causing it to spin around. After a few moments, it will stop and point at one of the present campers. This is the camper who Big Furphy will target. He excitedly says a variation of “Alright! The star of our show!” and begins to tell a story, never breaking eye contact with the selected camper, or even blinking, some have claimed. 

The story that Big Furphy tells is always centered around the person who has been targeted. By unknown means, Furphy is able to state a number of pieces of personal information about the selected camper ranging from their age, address, occupation, and even their name and the names of their relatives. His story details, very graphically, a series of events leading up to the selected person’s death and their dying process. The stories have been reported to always start fairly pleasant but quickly derail down a path of increasingly morbid situations. Furphy exhibits a kind of environmental manipulation during the telling of his tales as well. The weather will grow hostile around the campsite and various disfigured animals tend to show up and surround the campers not currently being targeted by the story. Some victims have even gone on record stating that time itself seems to be manipulated during a Big Furphy tale (e.g. Many individuals have said a Furphy tale felt like it took an hour to be completed, but once he left, only 15 minutes had passed in real time). After telling his story, Furphy will get up, pocket his compass and plainly ask “So! Everyone like that one?” 

**How To Survive:**

There are two main points in a Big Furphy visit when a victim’s safety is in jeopardy, directly before his story, and after he asks if it was enjoyable. Several campers have been injured by excessively interrupting his entrance, although Big Furphy doesn’t grow immediately hostile. He has been reported to almost always give some kind of warning of silence to a camper who screams at or questions him on his way to the campfire. If they continue, Furphy has been known to beat whoever is making noise into being quiet. Regardless of any injury he causes, he demands that everyone now stay put for his story. Failure for party members to do so has resulted in the deaths of all members except for one that Furphy tells to “Go and let everyone know what happened”. 

Next, there is after his story. The only answers that have offered 100% rates of survival is for everyone to either actively say they enjoyed the story or for the person who the story was about to start crying while everyone else remains silent. Both elicit a positive response from Big Furphy and result in his immediate departure. Other negative answers such as saying his story was bad, or telling him off for the content of the story, result in Big Furphy either maiming or outright killing the speaker. The amount of damage inflicted seems to be dependent on the intensity of the person berating him. Always before leaving in these scenarios, Big Furphy will press his Tarpon pendant onto the victim’s forehead. It burns at the touch and brands the symbol onto their skin permanently. Only facial surgery has proven effective in removing the branding(2) . 

**Additional Information:**

Several studies have been attempted on Big Furphy’s disfigured animal companions. These have been very difficult to carry out due to the fact that paying attention to them instead of Big Furphy’s story is high risk during a Furphy haunt. The only things that have been confirmed is that they don’t manifest in a tangible form, although they do appear as such. Regardless of this, they can still deal physical damage to an individual in the wrong situation. They have never been recognized in the wild without Big Furphy nearby. Reports to the contrary were later found to be individuals mistaking them for different poltergeists. 

There have been various, isolated moments where an individual has attempted to engage in a physical altercation with Big Furphy in defense against his attacks. The vast majority of these altercations ended in Big Furphy “winning” but none ended with the victim being killed. Only one person has physically bested Big Furphy and left almost unharmed. That person was the now famous bodybuilder Vic Gauge. In interviews on the subject, they have gone on record saying that they felt Furphy might have been going easy on them that day. Although this has been disputed by eyewitnesses. 

Furphy’s official first appearance remains undocumented, ironically due to conflicting, unsupported stories from locals. 

Unusual for poltergeists of his threat level, there have been some confirmed instances where the qualifications were met for Furphy to attack, but he still didn’t. In these situations, Furphy began approaching the would-be victim, but then stopped and walked away after offering some kind of excuse. Some of the excuses being “I’m not in the mood”, “I’m too tired right now” and “Your face looks banged up enough already eh?”. It is still highly encouraged by Geist Inc to follow the rules set out in this document to survive a Big Furphy encounter as opposed to hoping you will leave unscathed as these instances are still very far and in between. 

Big Furphy is part of a small group of poltergeists that will sometimes reference other poltergeists by name. The concept of a greater poltergeist network has sparked great fear as well as interest in the hearts of spectreologists everywhere. Typically, poltergeists that reference each other show signs of not desiring to move on, instead seeming to enjoy the role they play on Earth. They are also usually created out of self-creating spectrological phenomena as opposed to the death of someone with unfinished business. The last major thing these poltergeists have in common is a kind of self-awareness that makes them speak very similarly to that of a free willed human. 

**Author's Note:**

> (1) “Non-domestic situational” is the category given to poltergeists that never appear within a private residence and who are also brought about by a specific, non-permanent setting.   
> (2) The first person to prove this was Abigail Strandon who came out of surgery successfully on March 3rd 1998.


End file.
